Arthur's Column

Of goats and men ...

Which brings me to the theme of this week's column. What, you may ask, have goats to do with merriment and London. Well, the answer is lies in the former. Last week I was fortunate to be in Liechtenstein for their annual holiday (held appropriately on the birthday of the local prince), and am now able to report on some of the antics that occured.

Getting plastered appears to be the principal feature of the day (along with bands, a fair etc.), and yours truly rose to the occasion together with various friends who happened to be there. What started out as an innocent few pints rapidly degenerated into a rather decent party. It is on what happened under the cover of darkness, however, that your columnist must report.

There is this field. It has four goats. Not large ones, rather the cute brown type that one stops to pat on one's morning run. In fact, one had stopped and patted said goats that very morning. Which lead to the statement sometime later that day ... "Wonder what the goats will look like in London Mall T Shirts" (we had a few). Not thinking more about it the day drew to its predictable close and I retired to bed. A little later some of the younger members of the crew appeared at the house. "Got to come and see the goats!".

You guessed it. Four cute brown goats dressed in T Shirts. This is where the fun started.

Sensing the farmer's imminent disapproval wifey instructed said crew members to remove said T Shirts. An easy task, you would think, particularly for such experienced goat dressers as these. What they hadn't counted on was the arrival of one very large non-cute billy goat who, leaping the electric fence with ease, took control of the paddock, T Shirts, crew members, goats and all. By taking control you can infer "asserted authority". Within seconds the team were scrabbling down 30 foot drops where even goats are smart enough not to tread. Battered and bruised they repaired to the house, wondering whether the Billy could negotiate the complex Swiss locks on the front door.

On more local issues I went to the Anchor Bankside today for a pint and lunch. I have written about this pub before - singing its praises etc. I now have to rescind everything. There are lots of tables outside where you can sit and enjoy a great view of the Thames, obscured only by the back of a 4 foot banner proclaiming the pub's presence to the river. Unfortunately the tables are dirty, and the area is not kept clean. Inside, the queue for lunch at 14.00 was long and very slow. After spending the obligatory 30 minutes waiting to be served by unenthusiastic bar staff the food is virging on the inedible.

Its a real shame that a pub with such heritage, clearly on the tourist maps, has become such a poor example of a British pub.

Speaking of pubs, on my pub-crawl towards home yesterday afternoon I had the opportunity to stop in at Dogget's Coat and Badge on the south side of the Thames just west of Blackfriar's bridge. Not worthy of a visit, I shall grade it 1 in the Pub Guide. I also had occasion to visit The Founders Arms on the South bank just east of Blackfriars. This is a reasonable pub, worthy of a 4. It has a great view of the river, but is unfortunately very modern looking and rather boring architecturally. Worth a pint just for the view though.

Thats all for now...

Part 2 was published the following month

Take a look at the Pub Guide while you're in the neighbourhood!

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